Up The Mountain

Jenny here. Today is a day of love. Many will be glad to just have the day off.

“Well, I don’t know what will happen now. We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn’t matter with me now. Because I’ve been to the mountaintop. And I don’t mind. Like any man, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people will get to the promised land. And I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.”  MLK

1967 marked the year of the historical case Loving v. Virginia that made interracial marriage legal across the U.S. One year later, we would lose the love warrior Martin Luther King, Jr. through violence. Yet it wouldn't be until 2000 (the year Wil and I got married) that the last state, Alabama, would officially legalize interracial marriage. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for the fact I was able to fall in love and marry the man for whom I was destined. It's been less than half a decade since such a violent part of our past was becoming history.

I wish I could say that we have never experienced discrimination in our marriage. Growing up in small town white America I'm not sure I had experienced much before Wil. Certainly not much up close and in my face. Some of our early years together, and the varying opinions and first hand experiences about our choice, made us that much more committed and bonded.   Today almost 15% of new marriages are mixed matches.  Yet nearly once a day in the hospital or nursing home I would have staff ask "and you are?"  Many still just expect you to be with someone similar.  It was our unseen similarities though, of faith, world perspective, and moral compass that attracted us.  It's been our differences that make our marriage strong, well suited, complicated at times, and always fresh. Today I'm happy to be at home with Wil. Indebted to the visionaries who marched with love and passion despite the dangers. I'm without adequate words, but thankful all the same. We should each go out and do something in love today.

Update:  We are on our second full day home.  We're both tired and adjusting to home life. Yesterday Wil was up and around at least 8 times. His endurance is still at about 30 minute intervals when he is upright. But he is navigating the house with his walker, attempting the bathroom and having some success, eating well, sleeping fair-good at night (some occasional funny questions in the middle of the night when he is half asleep like "I need scissors, tell me where we keep scissors" and "will our shoes take us far enough?").  He is stronger each day. I am stronger each day.

No one prepares you for where love will take you. You will end up where you are supposed to be, but you'll only be able to learn by doing. Nothing can prepare you, not a farm upbringing, or years of child care, for caring for an adult.  I know my stomach will get stronger and despite it all (the joy, the horrors, the unknowns, the hilarity at times of my inadequacies at first try's at changing, cleaning up accidents, and bathing him) I'm exactly where I was destined. Difficult is part of every great story if matched with endurance and love.

Lately I'm on the side of love being given to us in greater amounts than I can give back. Our tough days are being matched with tenacious love.  I'm just so thankful.